A Slightly Confusing Story

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away called Space, there was a castle called Minas Tirith, where the four kings and queens of old lived. Their names were Lucy Pevensie, Alice (from wonderland), Luke Skywalker, and Frodo Baggins.
One day their spacious kingdom was laid siege on by a fierce enemy: the Queen of Hearts who wanted the One Ring of Power because she was in love with the vampire Edward Cullen. She sent her army under the command of the fierce general The Mummy, who really wanted to eat a barrel of apples because he could no longer taste apples after Captain Jack Sparrow cursed him.
So the four kings and queens commanded their general, Captain Malcolm Reynolds (who had the honor and privilege to be both captain and general, and just wanted things to go smoothly for once) to capture the Millennium Falcon which held Prince Caspian, who in turn held Dr. Einstein captive.
So, as the good General, Captain Reynolds, set out on this quest with his Centaur friends on Noah's Ark, Prince Caspian was plotting an evil plot.
He switched brains with Dr. Einstein, so that he could build robots, because his sister was a shopaholic and spent all his money dry.
In the meantime, The Dark Lord Sauron, the great eye, was watching. We don't know why.
However, the Queen of Hearts found out the plan of the four kings and queens, so she sent out the Black Pearl, whose captain was a Ringwraith named Darth Vader, who found out tragically that his father was Darth Maul.
So with his band of Orcs he followed General Captain Reynolds, who followed Prince Caspian.
But then the four kings and queens found out about the Queen of Hearts evil plan, so they sent out their bravest fellow to save General Captain Reynolds: d'Artagnan a Musketeer, who stole Pegasus from Romeo who had faked being Persius, because Andromeda was hotter than Juliet.
But then Eragon and his dragon Saphira found out about all the fuss, and they felt left out. So they intercepted the Millennium Falcon, and asked Prince Caspian “Hey! Whats going on?” But Einstein's brain answered “Your dragon stinks of Juice” (he was a little muddled from the brain swap that Caspian forced)
Just then, General Captain Reynolds crashed into them, because he was so busy throwing all the animals out of Noah's Ark so it would fly faster because he was being chased by Darth Vader in The Black Pearl, that he didn't notice Prince Caspian and the Millennium Falcon had stopped moving.
As they were all fussing with a policeman who was going to give them all tickets, d'Artagnan the Musketeer flew by on Pegasus, screaming “RUUUUN!”
They all looked behind to see a band of flesh eating Reavers dressed as Storm Troopers, charging toward them aboard the ship The Dawn Treader. But they were actually running from The Mummy, who had abandond the Queen of Hearts in a rage, because he found out that the Reavers had fed Captain Jack Sparrow (the only person who could undo the curse of apples that had been placed on The Mummy) to their pet Kracken.
As they were all running, they ran into the cowboys called The Sackett's, who shot them all.
Just then the mighty robot The Terminator came and blew the Sackett's up.
The Terminator won.
But then the Sorcerer named Merlin came along and turned The Terminator into a puppy.
So the Sorcerer won.
But where did the Sorcerer come from? The aliens.
So in reality, the aliens won.
But where did the aliens come from? They came from the Titanic which a giant duck pecked a hole in because he was mad at Zorro because Zorro scratched a Z into his wing, which was actually meant for the super dog Bolt.
And no one knows how the battle between the Queen of Hearts and the four kings and queens turned out, because Edward Cullen married Bella.
Then Zorro bounded into the scene “Have no fear! I am here!” He said, but all he found was empty space, so he sat down and cried until Bugs Bunny shared a carrot with him.
The End ( The Dark Lord Sauron makes a mass of applause at the end) OH! That is why he was watching!