Am I Proactive?

I have been reading a book lately that has been challenging my lifestyle a lot, which surprises me. It surprises me, not because I think I am flawless, but because I expected this particular book to be the last book to challenge me in anything.

What is the book? Preparing To Be a Help Meet by Debbie Pearl.

Now, before any of you get any wild ideas about my “relationship status”: I was talked into reading this book. My mother told me about it when it first got published, making a comment that it would probably be good for me to read. Then my friend in Ohio started reading the book and suggested it to me. Of course I was like “Well… it wouldn't really serve me a purpose, especially since I am going to be an old maid. I mean, why would I want to read something on marriage when I am sure I am not going to get married?”

Haha...Well, lo and behold, my friend/neighbor/adopted older sister, bought the book and gave it to me for Christmas/Hanukkah (thanks Jen!). That action told me that God was wanting me to read the book, but still, I was not expecting much. I mean, I basically know what makes a good wife: meekness in attitude and speech, respect for the hubby, cooking, cleaning, running a house, being available and flexible for the hubby, etc. etc… these qualities make a good wife.

Anyway, I started reading the book with the mindset that it was only about how to prepare yourself to be a good wife, the qualities needed, the pros and cons that a wise man will look for in a potential mate, and the things you should consider doing while you wait for “prince charming” to come along.

Although Preparing To Be A Help Meet does go through those points, it also has considerably more deep thinking in it.

The first thing that challenged me was Mrs. Pearl talking about prayer.

Of course I pray, and any smart person prays for their future soul mate: prays that they grow closer to the Lord and let Him mold them, that they resist temptation, that the Lord keeps them safe, that they build strong character qualities, that they have their priorities in check, etc. etc… but what really hit me was why we should pray.

I am really ashamed that I didn't see it this way before, but the reason we pray is not only because we want to have a conversation with God, but because we are waging a war. When we make a request of God, it releases the warriors of heaven to do battle against the angels of darkness. When we pray, we initiate a battle, and we direct its outcome with our prayers.

If we pray amiss, if we pray for our material desires, then we cause great damage to the waging battle. If we pray for a while and then give up, then we automatically loose the battle. If we continue to pray for God’s will, and we are persistent and tireless in our prayer, then the battle will be fought and won.

The example that Debbie Pearl used was Daniel chapter 10. Daniel prayed for almost a month that God would give him understanding concerning a vision that God had given him. Finally an angel shows up and explains that he came with the understanding as soon as Daniel started praying, but that the devil’s forces attempted to stop him from arriving, and finally the angel Michael came to his aid and was battling the demons so he could deliver the message of understanding to Daniel.

All of that was because of Daniel’s prayer.

It made me see how much I really don’t pray, how I don’t really intercede as much as I thought, and how I really don’t request much of God, therefore not allowing the opportunity for battle. It truly convicted me.

Gee….I could really do a whole post on prayer. Perhaps I will someday!

Anyway, another thing that caught my attention and has me questioning myself and my life is a note that Debbie Pearl put in the book under someone’s testimonial:

 The nature of someone’s speech tells a lot about them and where their life is headed. There are distinct differences in the speech of a person who directs their life (proactive/wise) and someone who lets their life direct them (reactive/foolish). The reactive individual talks of wishes and hopes whereas a proactive individual talks of plans with definitive action.

This struck me and made me ask myself “Am I a proactive person? I have plans, but so often they just seem to turn into empty wishes. I use the word HOPE a lot when referring to things I want done. Does that mean I am a reactive person? If I were to die tomorrow, would I have anything to show for my life? Am I getting anything productive done in my life? Am I moving forward and achieving goals? Not my goals, but God’s goals?”

I have actually found myself stressing and worrying about this for the past several days. Am I a proactive person? Or am I a reactive little twit?

I hate being idle, but are my random activities achieving ANYTHING?

I don’t feel like I am achieving anything.

But then I start worrying that I am over reacting. After all, I have am successfully building strong relationships with my siblings, learning to respect my dad and brothers, I have successfully taught children character (and by ‘successfully’ I mean that I have SEEN the fruit produced from these children with my own eyes)…. But then I think that of all the things I could have done/should have done, and have failed to do. There are too many to list.

So, am I a proactive or reactive person? I am currently uncertain of the answer, but I am determined to find the answer to the question…. And if I am a reactive person, I intend to correct that.

I still have not finished Preparing To Be A Help Meet. I am only half way through chapter 2! But I am purposely taking it slow and making notes. I think I will have a few more blog posts concerning the things I am learning from Debbie Pearl and the other women (and men) in the book before I am finished with it!