Freelance Writer

I just got on this website called "Freelancer.com" so I could maybe make some money for my writing.

I am totally a newb at this, so if you are reading and think "Wow... she is such an idiot!" it's because I am. So give me a little slack.

Well, when I first sign up with anything, I like to dink around with my profile and make sure everything is in it's place.

I started to do this on 'Freelancer.com' and soon found it was not like any profile I was used to.

'Overview'

'Feedback'

'Portfolio'

'Resume'

'Exams & Skills"

Those listed above were the 5 things that made up the profile on Freelancer.

I clicked into the Portfolio and then had to stop and ask myself "What is a portfolio again??"

From there I went to the 'Exams and Skills'. That's when I began to wonder "What on earth am I getting my self into? What Skills do I have?"

• Websites, IT & Software - Uh, no... Are you kidding? I can't even change my blog background without messing things up and wondering "Now what did I do wrong??"
• Mobile Phones & Computing - what on earth is a 'Appcelerator Titanium' and 'Android Honeycomb'?? And what is 'Windows CE'??
• Writing & Content - AHA! I was able to choose 8 out of 37 items there. What a joke...

I went through 6 other categories thinking "What on earth?" and "Wow, I'm a mole in a mountain!". Then I came to one that said "OTHER" and I was able to select 4 skills out of it. Whew!

From there, I went to 'Resume'... that is when I realized I was in trouble.

I clicked into 'Experience' and typed in that I was a blogger/writer and put down my very pathetic description of how I LUUUV to write and read, and I have 2 blogs, and yadda, yadda, yadda...

Then I clicked 'Education'. I found my country (US) and then I opened the bar that listed all the popular universities and colleges in the United States, and I start looking for the one that says "Completed High School"

Then there was the 'Certifications'... I did not even bother to click into that one. I have been certified as a Fool Worthy Of Recognition in Dancing, Singing, & Talking, but that's about it.

Next was 'Publications'. HAHAHA! Yeah... we all know that I have not published ONE book yet.

So, after that, I started looking for employers: people who needed freelance writers.

I figured "Well, I'm on here. I might as well start trying to make money."

I think I shrunk several sizes in my chair as I looked at all the people who needed writing jobs done, their specifications, and how many other people with much more experience than myself were bidding on them.

"Crikey!" I thought to myself "I am a total joke in this place."

I do not consider myself to be really great at grammar. I don't consider myself to be an editor. I am NOT professional at anything! I cannot work in a group. I will not pledge to be available to an employer for 4 hours of my day. Isn't there ANYTHING that I can fit into?.... Or am I really just a joke?

I did find one person who was wanting a ghostwriter to help flesh out his book. I have never been a ghostwriter, but I thought "Ghost writing could be fun... Besides, I'll be lucky if this dude even looks at my bid, much less accept it!" So I put my bid in, listed how I could help him, my experience, what time frame I could get it done in, and all that good stuff, then I closed my eyes and literally punched the 'BID' button.

I'm thinking that I will most likely NOT get the job. There are at least 12 other people with a ton of experience bidding on the same project. No matter how inexperienced the employer is, he will probably pick one of them. He would be smart to do so.

However, I can't help but wonder "What on earth will I do if I DO get the job??"

Of course I am totally serious about helping the guy out if he hires me, but seriously... The thought of being HIRED to work on someone else's book is mind boggling. I've never done it before.

That's when I start thinking that maybe I should submit some stuff to the local newspapers first, then take some online courses about writing, go through my old writing books, perfect myself and my writing & grammar in every possible way... perfection, PERFECTION, PERFECTION!

Then I have to calm myself down and remember that I have learned so much and I am panicking for no legitimate reason at all. I will never get anywhere in life if I don't step out of my comfort zone and start learning to balance on my own while people step on my toes.

If I could become a busy freelance writer, I would totally LOVE that. I would be doing something that I love, without having to leave home. I might actually have an amount OVER $50 in my checking account! It would be a childhood dream come true (the writing part, not the money part).

But really, how often does someone get to have the job of their dreams, much less a dream come true?

Yeah, I am being totally positive about this.

Mental Note: I need to publish some of my short stories and books so I have SOMETHING to show for... and call the editor of the local newspaper... yeah.