So, the mighty 2012 has finally arrived. A lot of people think the end of the world is just around the corner. My reaction: whatever... If it goes BOOM who is going to care?So, did you make any New Years resolutions? I started thinking about them around mid-December. After a few days I just thought "Aw...whatever. Why make a resolution when I have no clue what to resolve... except my clothes size. I would like to go from a size 12 jeans to a size 10 or 11... but whatever.
I have just kind of been in the 'whatever' mood. I don't really care. I don't know why, and I don't really care why either. I just *shrug* don't care. Unfortunately, this attitude/feeling/whatever has put me behind in my Scripture memory... or is it the daily chaos around the house that has made me fall behind?
I have been memorizing John 15 with a really awesome friend who is doing an awesome job at her memorizing ;-).
I have never given John 15 much thought, but as I have repeated each verse countless times, and put it to music to memorize it, I have found it to be quite a remarkable passage of scripture.
Jesus spends 7 verses saying "Abide in me"... he STRESSES it. So that kind of raises the question "Why? Why is it so important to Jesus' that we abide in him?"
Well, verse 8 gives the answer "By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples."
It is all about bringing Glory to Yahweh, the mighty Creator. Everything that Jesus did and said brought Glory to his Father and he desperately wanted us to do the same. We humans have such a selfish nature and want the glory for ourselves...it is quite embarrassing if you think about it.
But a wise man does not stop there... the next question to ask is "How am I supposed bring Glory to my Father in Heaven? How can I? What do I do?"
An excellent question... one that I have yet to fully understand. I will make another post about it at a later time when I have learned more, but if you have read this, you would be wise to consider the question yourself and study on it, not just wait for me to slowly figure it out and tell you what I've learned.
Something else:
This morning I was struck at Bible study by Jesus' parable of the two houses; one built on rock, and one built on sand. Jesus was talking about 3 tests that would come to every household of believers: The rains, the floods, and the winds. (Matthew 7:24-27)
- The rains test the roof, or leadership.
- The floods test the foundation, or principles.
- The winds test the structure, or followers.
When I applied these to my personal life, I realized that I had not passed the 3rd test.
I have passed the first test: 2 years ago I and my parents relationship was under great strain and we were at odds with each other. I was finally faced with a decision: leave my parents, or submit to their authority, no matter how cruel it may seem, and trust God to pull me through it.... I committed to the latter, and almost instantly all the strain in our relationship was taken away. It was then that I realized that it was not my parents making life hard for me, but me making life hard for myself. Once I decided to follow God's rules, everything got better.
I have also passed the 2nd test: my principles and standards were tested. Most of my life I have lived without firm principles and standards. They looked something like this: don't drink, don't smoke, don't do dirty dancing...etc. But in 2010 I set myself FIRM standards and principles according to the commands of God. That fall, God sent the floods to test my foundation. I stood firm and would not back down. I knew why I had these standards and I knew how important they were to God.
But the 3rd test is one that I have failed, and I just realized that today. It has disturbed me and made me very sad.
What 'followers' have I to show? How can my fruit be judged when I have produced no disciples? I must admit, I have had many chances to disciple several younger girls, but I was so focused on learning things for myself, that I passed them by. I would start them off, but then I would not follow up with them. I would plant seeds, but then I would not take the time to step back and make sure they were getting watered. As far as I was concerned, that was the job of someone else who had more experience than I; someone with the spiritual watering can. I planted, now the next person comes to water. Sometimes, I was afraid that I would fail; I would over water them, or over-step my bounds. Now I see that is not always the case.
As a household, our whole family has passed these 3 tests, but on a personal level, I don't believe I have passed the 3rd. I have always been the follower or the loner... but never the followed.
So what do I do now? Or is this even something I need to worry about?? Does the 3rd test apply to a personal level? I think it does, and I think this is something that I should be considering from now on very carefully. I have had many girls look up to me, but I just kind of shrugged it off because I believed I was not strong enough to lead, or I was afraid that I would fail.
*SLAPS SELF!!*
What was I thinking?! There is no way I can fail as long as I am using God's commands and set principles as my guide book! And of course I am not strong enough to lead! That is why I follow the strongest Leader in the universe.
Pointing other people toward the Leader of leaders is easy, but it is NOT the only thing I should be doing. I should be showing them how (or how not to) walk after Him. I should be equipping them with the knowledge that God has given me to use our armor and weapons for His glory. And then, when the time comes, He will let me know when it is time to let the next person take up the watering can, or the baby spoon, to feed those who follow.
Now the question I have is "What can I do to change this?"... I have thought about this all day, and I honestly don't know. If you lived in my area, you would understand how difficult something like discipleship is.
However, now that I am aware of this fault and I am ready to do something about it, God will provide or show me a way to start discipleship. I'm not really sure what to expect. He will probably start me out with my siblings... sometimes it's easier to throw my siblings to my pet dragon and go help someone else's children than it is to help my own kin.
Maybe this all fits into the 'Abide in Me' and 'Bring Glory to God' part that I was talking about?
Anyway..... what a way to start the new year, all melancholy and think-ative....
Ooh...I have probably rambled on long enough. I should probably post this and just go to bed... or drink some more Earl Grey tea...
*SHRUGS* Oh...whatever...
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