The Mountain Test

A massive mountain towered over us, casting its shadow over the whole land.

“Move it.” He commanded.

Okay. I can do that. After all, I have a lot of faith, and it only takes a tiny bit to move a mountain.

“Okay. I will.” I said and stretched my hands toward it.

“It will not be without challenge. Whatever happens, just focus and it will move.”

I nodded and focused “Move!” I shouted.

The mountain began to shake and tremble as it slowly inched up away from the ground.

A continual flow of powerful energy washed through me as I focused on the mountain - his energy. I smiled as the mountain hovered high over the ground. It was happening. It was really happening!

Suddenly, all the people in my life – friends and family alike- were all around me, screaming, yelling, trying to get my attention, telling me to stop, saying that I didn’t know what I was doing, that I wasn’t qualified, that I was too young.

The mountain trembled and sank a few inches back to the ground.

“NO! Focus!” I strained to focus and I tried to ignore the shouting voices, but the more I ignored them, the louder they got.

I glanced back at the people behind me “Stop it!”

The mountain groaned and fell several feet.

“You can’t do this!” “You’re too young!” “You’re going to fail!”

The mountain sank a few more inches.

I raised my hands up to my ears to block out the sounds, but to my horror, the mountain dropped several more feet with that action.

I’m going to fail! I’m going to fail! I can’t fail!

The mountain continued to sink to the ground. With one last effort I raised it a few inches then slowly let it slip back to the ground. It settled back into its old place with a boom and a shower of dust then all was silent. All the people had disappeared. All the screaming and shouting had stopped. I was alone with Him once again.

I slowly turned to Him with a melting heart, knowing that I had failed, but only when I looked into his eyes did I understand the true extent of my failure. The bitter disappointment trickled down his cheeks and melted right into the “why did you have so little faith?” expression. I could tell that my failure hurt Him more than it did me, and just seeing that nearly killed me.

“AHHG!” I screamed as I sat up in bed with sweat running down my back and tears streaming down my face “Oh God! I’m such a failure!” I buried my face into my hands and sobbed in the darkness of my room.

The past week had been filled with an unpleasant experience which had lead up to an unhappy outcome. When I had started this project a few months before, I knew everyone was thinking “She’ll fail. She’ll give up on it.”, but I had been determined to prove them wrong. Failure has always been my biggest fear and the thing I lived up to. I could never finish anything without failing. I could not even cross-stitch without giving or messing up. This project was my one chance to prove to everyone that I was NOT a failure. I wanted to show all my friends and family that I could stick with something all the way through - that I was a finisher. But now….now they all knew without a doubt that I was a failure. And I was. Oh, I had learned a lot from the project, and a few people told me that what happened in the end was out of my control and I had really proven that I was a finisher, but I didn’t feel like it. I felt terrible and disappointed with myself. I had failed.

I sobbed uncontrollably for a few minutes until I felt a strange peace come over me and stop my sobs in their tracks. Then I heard it – that still small voice that held all the power in the world: “Oh my child! You are not a failure. I do not create failures. Failure is a tool that teaches you to stand up again. You will never be a failure if you continue stand up.”

Prov 24:16a - For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again…