Four Wheeler Fly

Psalm 25:17 The troubles of my heart are enlarged: [O] bring thou me out of my distresses.

The sky was full blue, the temperature was comfortable, the air was filled with the pungent smell of sage brush. It was a nice September day, but I hardly noticed it. All I felt was pain surging up my right leg and I heard echoing in my head “Stop! We're going to crash!”
Nearly a week before, my newest baby sister had been born premature. She was the fourth child of the family, and she might not even make it.
Me, and my younger brother and sister had to stay home on the farm while mom and dad stayed in the city with the baby. Whats more, is that our grandmother was taking care of us. We did not know her very well, and I questioned her authority as well as her ability to care for us.
At this time, I was also questioning God's motives for my life. Why had He allowed this to happen to my family? What was His point? What was He seriously trying to teach us? And why had He brought my grandmother back into my life again? What good were any of these trials for my family? What on earth could they teach us, or anyone else for that matter? Was He even watching us?
To get away from my uncertainty and anger, I decided to take my one year old brother and ten year old sister for a four wheeler ride out in our farm pasture.
We all worked to pull the machine out of the shed, then I took the wheel and set my brother at the front, while my sister sat at my back.
In pasture, we pretended that we were space police. We zoomed up the big hills and rolled down the other side of them as we chased imaginary outlaw aliens. It was fun, but the raging storm inside of me wasn't going away, and it was beginning to affect my play. I started becoming the angry rebel outside, just like the inside. As Proverbs 4:23 says: Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
It came time to head back home, but I insisted on one more ride down the hill.
“This time, lets go backwards.” I said. My sister warned me that going backwards down our big hill might prove to be a bad idea, but I didn't listen. I wanted to defy everything logic and law, and this was just a start.
We zoomed up the hill and then I let off the gas. Slowly we started to roll down the hill backwards.
My sister became rigid as the machine picked up speed, but I started to laugh hysterically. I was fully aware of the danger of this, and I was loving every minute of defying death.
Suddenly the wheeler bumped over a sagebrush and began to go out of control.
“Stop! We're going to crash!” My sister cried and her cry made me realize that I was risking more than just my life.
I grasped the brakes, but to no effect. They did nothing to slow our roller coaster speed down the hill. They did not work at all.
Panic set in as I finally realized the gravity of the situation. I did my best to keep the machine going straight down the hill, then I made the mistake of hitting the gas full throttle.
“Hold on! Jesus help!” I screamed as the front of the wheeler flew into the air. Everything seemed to go into slow motion.
I saw my baby brother get picked up off the four wheeler seat by invisible hands and sat down on the ground gently, safely away from the tipping four wheeler. I felt my hands tighten around the handle bars and my whole body twisted to flip the machine onto its side.
I felt my sister slide off the back then the machine hit the ground with me on it. It tilted to roll down the hill, so I quickly jammed my left foot into the seat to keep it from rolling, and I blacked out.
I came too a moment later to find my sister staring at me and to hear my brother crying. Pain surged up my right leg which was pinned under the four wheeler and my left leg was rigid and tense, still bracing the machine to keep it from rolling.
I made sure that my siblings were okay, then my sister helped me out from under the machine. Thankfully, my leg was only slightly burned.
We tipped the four wheeler over and re-started it. I checked the brakes to find that they were working just fine then we headed back to the house.
My grandmother guessed immediately what had happened, but she didn't say anything about it, much to my relief.
My parents came home a few days later with the new baby who was now very healthy and I made up with God right after the accident. I figured that if He was still willing to help protect my siblings from my stupidity, and keep me alive at the same time, even after I had been a jerk to Him, He deserved my respect.
I have never questioned His motives again either. I know now that whatever we go through in life, He works it out for good (Romans 8:28), no matter how bad it is.