What Makes a Good Friendship?

I have seen many young people become confused as to what a good friend is and what makes good friendships.
Many of the young people I have worked with have equated a good friend simply as being a Christian. Others, often non-christians, have equated a good friend as someone who they just really get along good with and really like.
Although those two things do help make a person your friend, they do not make that person a really GOOD friend.
To help myself understand what makes my current friends (specifically two) such good friends, I made a list of what sets our friendships apart from all my other past friendships. I have started to call it "The Code of the Sisterhood".
Now, let me just add that I do have a couple of "guy friends" that are pretty good friends, but they are not my confidants or my exhorters. They may occasionally say something that challenges me, but they do not take responsibility for my spiritual growth and they do not share my struggles, and vise-versa. Therefore, all my close friends, my good friends, are girls. That's doesn't go to say though that this "Code" could be flopped around for guys too. But I will let the guys talk to the guys about friendship, and I will talk to the girls about friendship, and we will just leave it at that....

The Code of the Sisterhood:

• We are 100% honest and open with each other
• We do not fear offending others with truth
• We aspire others to truth and wisdom
• We share each other’s struggles with prayer and wisdom
• We talk of our past experiences to help others make good decisions
• We ask questions to help others understand their heart and motives
• We confront others when we see a falsehood in their heart
• We listen with an open heart and mind when another confronts us
• We stand firm by the other when they make a good decision, and we pray and wait patiently for the other when they make a bad decision
• When one feels led to do something, we do not argue with them, but we stand firm and hold them accountable
• Those who prune you are your true friends. Those who flatter you are your enemies. (Prov 27:6)
• Those who are offended by or reject words of truth and guidance are to be avoided

I am completely open and honest with my friends. I am not rude and I give my opinions gently, but I have learned the hard way not to withhold my thoughts and wisdom from my friends or to keep secret the checks that God puts in my spirit. I expect my friends to do no less for me. I want them to check me, to hold me accountable, and to point out my flaws.

At the same time, my friends and I don’t just sit around and point out the splinter in each other’s eyes. We share our struggles with each other and we pray for one another. We build each other up. We learn together and from each other. We hold each other to a higher standard, and we help each other to meet those standards one step at a time.

I want friends that will help me keep from traveling the wrong road. I want friends that encourage me toward success, and greatness, and purity. 

That is what you should look for in a friendship: building, encouraging, growing…becoming MORE and becoming BETTER. Iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17). A GOOD friend is someone who will strive with you toward perfection in Christ Jesus, who feels a sort of responsibility for your spiritual growth and success, and who is willing to expect the same from you.

A friend like that is truly a treasure to find and should be regarded as such. I thank God every day for the beautiful treasures He has put in my life that have sharpened me and help me to raise myself up to the standards. I treasure those beautiful jewels for the wonderful impact they have made on my life.