A Little Fun to Help Relax....

Okay. I could not resist. I had to compile all the funny things I've seen and read lately, and put on a blog post. Enjoy it and share it with your friends!

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• The man who smiles when something has gone wrong has found someone to blame it on.  
• Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils...  
• What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter what you call him, he ain’t gonna come.   
• A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for my kick boxing. 
• I miss those days where I could throw someone in the pool and not have to worry if they had their phone in their pocket... 
• 3 out of 2 people have trouble with fractions. 
• OREOS: first you twist it, then.. oh it broke.    
• There’s a fine line between tan, and looking like you rolled in doritos
•  “Would you pass the sugar, Sugar?” - “Can I have the honey, Honey?” - “Pass the tea, Bag.”
• Sometimes I wonder “Why is that Frisbee getting bigger??” and then it hits me.
• If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll be glad to do it for you.
• I don’t suffer from insanity…I enjoy every minute of it!
• WARNING! Your computer has a virus and needs to be hit several times
• Stupid book…. I need to go to sleep, but I can’t stop reading you!
• My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems
• Dear Algebra, stop making me look for your X…she’s not coming back.
• I don’t know what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.
• Whoever said that nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door.
• Every thinker puts an apparently stable world into some kind of peril.
• I was going to dominate the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.
• Life is uncertain…so eat desert first.
• You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend….but it sure helps.
• I’ve got a problem for your solution…
• The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll think about it.
• I put red bull through my coffee pot this morning instead of water. Right now, I can SEE noises.
• Notice! All unattended children will be given a cappuccino and a free puppy to take home.